Begin at the Beginning

Most of you know that I've been a big guy all my life. As a HS wrestler at my fittest, I weighed 220 lbs. I've been up and down many times, but mostly up.

Fortunately, I'm in pretty good shape for a guy my size. I mean, I don't have heart problems, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or diabetes. I can hike around campus with a 20-lb backpack and do it while having a conversation with my 20-something classmates. I can grind out 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical without feeling like I'm going to die.

But I just can't lose weight and keep it off. And believe me, I've tried. I did Weight Watchers and Nutrisystem back in the 80s. More recently, I did Atkins, South Beach, and even a medically supervised diet a couple of years ago. Everything worked... for a while.

So I've been wrestling with the idea of gastric bypass for a couple of years. My "problem" is that I don't like to admit failure. I don't like to admit that "I'm simply not X enough" (substitute "good," "smart," "strong," etc. for X and you get the idea).

I've had only two major disappointments in my life. The first was not finishing my Bachelor's degree the first time. I regretted it for years, but I fixed that little disappointment, and I did it in style, if I do say so myself. So it was time to fix the other disappointment, my weight.

It's not easy to admit that I have no control over something so integral to my life. I mean, I stopped doing some pretty hard drugs simply because I decided to stop. I haven't touched anything stronger than alcohol in almost 15 years. So why can't I walk away from food? (That's another post entirely. We'll get there... I have a lifetime to tell this story.)

Anyway, I finally admitted that I can't walk away from food, so I made the decision to do something about it. I'm bound and determined to succeed like I did with my degree. I have a pretty good track record, I think. Besides, I have the best family and friends in the world (pat yourself on the back if you're reading this).

Oh, one more thing. I started this journey at 408 lbs. I've weighed more in my life, but that's what the scale said when I first went to the surgeon's office.

This morning I weighed 370 lbs.

And it's only the beginning.